When Bad Perspective Happens to Good People

Can your worldview keep you afloat?

Bad Perspective can happen to any of us. It’s like having a flaw in that inflatable life preserver under your seat in the airplane; most people do not have firsthand experience with just how well that flimsy little inflatable yellow jacket will work to keep your head above the waterline in the case of an emergency crash into the water. You take it on faith; most likely you’re not really even thinking about the possibility of floundering around in the sea when the plane goes down. Please don’t misunderstand me, I am not promoting the idea that we should all join the hand wringers club and worry ourselves sick about stuff that isn’t very likely to happen. The good news is that there are people out there who have actually tested the waters and the life jackets, so to speak.

I am one of those few souls who can confirm to you that those flimsy little yellow life jackets actually do inflate and can keep your head bobbing above the waterline. I know this because once upon a time I was a flight attendant and part of our “boot camp” training included a simulated plane crash and water ditching exercise where we actually had to evacuate a “plane,” don the vest, slide down the emergency slides, inflate and climb into life rafts, and bob in the water while holding onto the seat cushions (“which also can be used as floatation devices”) all while in full clothing. It was not the most enjoyable experience, but I can attest that the life jackets do work pretty well, in a pool with relatively calm water. They are not nearly as great as the life vests you would wear on a regular boat and the seat cushions do technically float, but not like a rubber inner tube, if you know what I mean.

If, in that moment of crisis, there is a flaw in your life vest, and it doesn’t inflate - then you are left clinging to soggy cushions and your prayer life likely just went up to a whole new level.

I am also one of those souls that can tell you firsthand what it is like when the storms of life come and the circumstances of life crash your metaphorical plane into the choppy dark waters of pain and tragedy and you reach for your little yellow life jacket in an attempt to somehow survive this disaster, and - alas! - your life jacket does not inflate properly. So, there you are, shivering in the cold dark water, dog paddling, heavy in your clothes, looking for a seat cushion, which you now find is floating, sort of, about eight inches under the water…

“Bad perspective can happen to good people... Most of the time we don't really inspect our perspective any more than we dig under the seat of the aircraft to look at that little yellow life jacket."

Bad perspective can happen to good people. Most of us don’t practice ditching exercises before we agree to go on a transcontinental flight; we think we have what we need. Likely we don’t really think about it at all. We grow up with a perspective of life, of God, of why things happen or don’t happen. Most of the time, we don’t really inspect this perspective any more than we dig under the seat in the aircraft to look at that little yellow life jacket.

So, to tell you the story behind my plane crashing metaphor: When I was very young, I was a believer who loved the Lord dearly and felt deep compassion and concern for others. I developed a close friendship with a little Japanese girl and became very interested in Japan. As a young adult, I felt called by the Lord to do a short missions trip in Japan and this fueled my desire to study in Japan and then later to work in Japan, but with missionary intentions. While living in Japan, I experienced much spiritual darkness and there was definitely spiritual warfare and attacks. At the end of seven years, I was really burned out. I needed to process what I had experienced; and I needed more than a “you think too much” kind of answer. Just as I returned home, my dear friend and cousin, Dena, whom I had missed deeply while overseas, was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 27. The battle was fierce and shockingly quick; and she died, just a few weeks before she should have graduated from nursing school. And then, on the day of Dena’s graduation, my mother, who was also one of my best friends, collapsed at the young age of 57 with a severe aneurysm and was hospitalized, in a coma, possibly never to awaken.

My life vest (my perspective of God and why things happen the way they do) did not inflate well enough to keep my head above water in these circumstances.

I was not able to process this loss and this pain. I had devoted my life to God, had even been living overseas to introduce people to Jesus. My mother had been a devoted believer, compassionate and kind to the needy. My cousin was also a believer, even though her young life had been scarred by tragedy and pain even before this cancer diagnosis. My nostrils were barely above the water line and I was starting to sink. I went into a deep depression for many weeks and experienced severe anxiety; I struggled to keep food down and was unable to sleep at night. For a while, the sun didn’t even seem to shine…

The storms continued as my mom spent weeks in a coma, then finally awakened but was now brain damaged and severely handicapped, requiring many long months of hospitalization before becoming stable enough to come home to full-time care at home. My beloved family dog, Scruffy, fell into my parent’s pool and drowned. I found her little body floating in the water. Other terrible things happened over the next several months and years; over and over the waves crashed over my head and I found myself losing hope.

Then my husband abruptly left me (we had been married for almost 8 years when he left); I discovered that our finances were in shambles and I was forced into bankruptcy, lost my home, and found myself floundering to find a way on my own.

By this point, I no longer believed that God was good or that I could have any confidence that He would take care of me. I figured there might be a god out there but if he existed at all he was a scary god who might mess you up good for no justifiable reason at all. I decided that I would just fly as low as I could, under the radar, and try to stay out of god’s way and do my own thing. I spent the next several years of my life giving God the silent treatment; I was hurt, bitter and very angry about all of the terrible things that had happened to me.

Heaven help any poor soul that might try to encourage me with a word that God was good or that He loved me. I knew better than that. My perspective had become a millstone around my neck, and I was definitely sinking fast.

Thankfully, a very brave soul threw me a different life vest (a new perspective) at a critical moment. I didn’t want this life vest at first, in fact, I cussed out the poor guy who offered it to me in front of about 60 people at a secular conference where I had been telling everyone about how god had booby-trapped me. Thankfully, my soon to be friend, David Clancy, already had a good life vest on and was not offended or traumatized by my very ungracious reaction. In fact, he kindly proceeded to tell me a bit about his own life story. And he had gone through some terrible things that were even worse than some of the tragedies I had experienced! And yet he sincerely believed God was good and trustworthy, that God was on his side. I was shocked, and intrigued…

The life vest that was thrown to me that day was found in a package as small as a paperback book by Gregory Boyd entitled, Is God to Blame? ( https://reknew.org/book/is-god-to-blame-moving-beyond-pat-answers-to-the-problem-of-suffering/ )

Over the next month or so, I read this book and spent many hours on the telephone with my new friend, David, processing through this new perspective:

“You mean maybe it wasn’t God’s plan for my husband to leave me?”

“Maybe my cousin’s death wasn’t ordained by God for some mysteriously higher good???”

“Maybe all of the terrible things that had happened to me weren’t part of God’s wonderful plan for my life, but instead were the handiwork of a very real enemy that was hell bent on stealing killing and destroying any good thing in my life???”

“Could there really be a good God who is ready and able to stand alongside me in the battles of life to bring victorious redemption and restoration to every area of life where the enemy’s destructive purposes have been felt?”

I was finally able and willing to start talking to God again. This new life vest, this new perspective, changed everything for me. I went from being a very anxious angry person, unable to trust God to a person who could wholeheartedly believe that God is indeed good, and He is for me and will help me.

Now I realize that I am in a war, in the middle of a battle between two kingdoms, in a universe filled with free will beings that can influence the battle with their choices for destruction or for restoration. God has already provided the way to ultimate victory, in Jesus Christ. Now, I am able to worship God and declare His goodness with passionate abandon, even when my circumstances have not yet come into alignment with His Kingdom. At this point in the battle, there is still guerilla warfare waged against me by a very real enemy and there are still times in my own life where I sometimes find myself bobbing in dark waters. But now I have a life vest on that keeps my nostrils way above the water line and my heart and hope have not sunk to the bottom of the sea. In fact, this perspective has absolutely transformed every area of my life!

“Could there really be a good God who is ready and able to stand alongside me in the battles of life to bring victorious redemption and restoration to every area of life where the enemy’s destructive purposes have been felt?”

Since trading in my old leaky life vest, I have weathered many other very intense storms in the waters. But this new life vest has kept me in genuinely good spirits even when faced with incredibly challenging difficulties, because now I know that the circumstances of life do not dictate the truth of who God is, who I am and how this story is going to end. I can bob in the water with a song in my heart, reminding the enemy that this storm is only temporary, and that the restoration of all things is coming! And the enemy can’t stop it.

I can attest firsthand that it is critically important to have the right life vest on when those storms come. And I can recommend a really good brand that comes in a small paperback book.

Postscript

This post is dedicated to my beloved best friend and husband, David Clancy, who helped me develop a new, restorative worldview that has changed my life and given me victorious hope for our future. #WarfareWorldview